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Lesson 21 (Revelation, Agape, Faith, The Light)

 

Talk covers (Seeing things differently) (not criticizing self) (The five talents) (giving teaching to others) (Making a contribution to harmlessness) (Making up the mind)

This week we will continue discussing seeing differently. As one begins to see different, one is seeing much that has heretofore been in the dark (all the conditioning that made up the "self"). One is beginning to see where most of one's difficulties came from--where one set up a barrier by always wanting to have something "ideal" (what ought to be). And, of course, then comes all the difficulties of trying to gain that state of idealism or the ideal--which is an "illusion" and not what is.

One might say this is revelation. To reveal is to bring to light. One might use the parallel of many objects in a very dark room. One with no light would bump into things--would find no beauty--could not see what was there, and wouldn't understand it.

However if one were given a light, one could throw the light into the room--see the beautiful things--not bump into things, and one would have something revealed to one. In order to have the light, and to have things revealed; one, of course, must have the light and use it. If one had a lamp and didn't use it, it would be of no value.

Now the lamp that one uses, of course, is the Teaching. The Teaching points out that there is much in man that man is unaware of, and it points out a means whereby he may be aware of it--the light--self-observation. It points out that the source of his difficulties are not to be blamed on something outside, but that the difficulties arise from within the "self". As the Great Teacher said, "From within the heart of man arises lust, murders, guilts, fears", and all the other unpleasant emotions. So from within this dark area called the "self", self-observation is throwing a light on it. Self observation is seeing all the mechanical behavior and all the conditioning one was heretofore totally unaware of--was totally identified with. One now sees all the not i's. One now sees that all the limitations one experienced was from the idea of conditioning. One can begin to see that all of the things that one felt was possible (such as having what ought to be) just may not be true. One can also see that things that one thought were impossible, [such as being in charge of one's inner state despite what's going on around one] are very possible when the conditioning is no longer in the way. This is beginning to be a new person.

One is considered (in certain areas we read) that one is little in the kingdom of heaven. One has a little glimpse that everyone is doing what they feel to be right, proper or justifiable. One has a little glimpse of agape or love, but one is a new person--that awareness [to experience agape or love] was not at all present in the "self" before self-observation. I is observing all this and using the light of Teaching which is seeing all the mechanicalness--the conditioning and all the things that arise from that-all the many accounts receivable. As one is becoming this new person, I begins to see and have revealed to it what forgiveness is. It begins to reveal what anxiety is. It begins to be revealed to one where all one's difficulties arise-from the conflicts of the many not-i's. One group (A-side) contending that one should stick up for one's rights, complain to get one's way, and to blame; and the other group (B-side) saying to please everybody, believe and do as you are told by your authorities, and to put on a different front. This conflict between A and B sides is the source of man's agony and misery. The old man with the conditioning unobserved has always blamed it on outside circumstances-on other people--on disease, etc. It is revealed that the disorders of the body arise from the conflict within--from the many anxieties-from the the preparing to fight or run. One begins to have revealed to one that X always does the appropriate thing for the information received from I, whether "I" is asleep and identified with the conditioning, or whether I is awake and observing the conditioning and observing all that is going on outside.

This is revelation. One begins to live in a light and begins to see what is going on. One begins to understand other people and not be in the dark of blaming, resentments, angers, guilts, fears, etc.

As one begins to have agape (love, understanding), the first person to be understood is I, and that means there is nothing to be regretful about--nothing to feel ashamed about. The conditioning is the usual state of man. Indeed, it is something to be very delighted about--that one is beginning to see. It is something to be delighted about to have the light thrown on all the dark areas within--that the inner man with all the hidden motives and all the conditioning are being brought to light.

One understands and remembers that when one was totally identified with "self" (with all the conditioning), that one did what seemed right, proper or justifiable. That feeling of right, proper or justifiable is what was reported to X, and X operated on it. Now one is seeing entirely different things as being right or proper.

One is also seeing that anything that has to be justified is, of course, invalid because only the not-i's (the conditioning) justifies things. I needs not justify anything--it merely reports what is. It is seeing what is. I sees the tremendous grace or tremendous gifts every person has--and is seeing that most people are totally unaware of these gifts. One begins to understand them and one has compassion for them. This is the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven-of Agape-of the Kingdom of Love.

Now there are certain expressions, of course, that occurs. One has a different attitude. As we said when one sees differently, one has a different attitude. The basic attitude of the conditioned person is to gain revenge, to have fear of what will people think, etc. You are quite well acquainted with them if you are paying attention. Now we can have a different attitude--an attitude of CONSIDERATION for all men. We consider and see their viewpoint and consider how one could relate to that individual in his present state of affairs. One does not need to "straighten him out"--one can't. It has to be done from his own inner revelation--from having the light and using it. One could so appear [set an example] that he might ask about it. Then, possibly, one could give him some of the Teaching, and allow him to use the light also. But the first thing is to be considerate of him in whatever state he is in. One will find one doesn't have to practice being considerate. If you practice being considerate, you are merely being tolerant. If one truly sees that what everyone around one is doing, each one feels he or she is right, proper and/or justified, and each is operating by the only light, or rather the absence of light each has. That is the only thing each can do. It is what each has done for years-each has only lived by the absence of light. Now one can be considerate of this individual who is in a blind state. Who could not be considerate of a blind person? Being considerate is a new attitude. It results in a new way of relating to the individual whoever it may be and wherever it may be. It could be in one's own household--it could be a stranger--a snippy sales clerk-any one in one's everyday affairs.

One is considerate of whom?--a blind person-a crippled person or an incomplete person. So one is considerate; and when one reports consideration to X, X brings forth the appropriate behavior for consideration.

The next attitude that one would have is to be entirely HARMLESS. Not to be helpful (which is usually to harm people), but to be harmless. It takes considerable consideration, considerable awareness, considerable looking, considerable paying attention in order to be harmless. If one [out of the guise of being helpful] decided to tell one of these blind people, "You are blind (meaning you are blind spiritually, you're blind to the "self") to what is going on in you,". You would, then, be harmful to that individual because they couldn't believe it. From that, they might draw a conclusion. Later when they might be ready and actually asking for the light, they wouldn't be able to use it because of the previous conclusion.

If they are let alone for a while, maybe they will ask for the light some day. [that is the way the teachings are designed] You see, everyone has to ask for the Teaching. It is never promoted--it is never pushed upon anyone. It is lived by example, yes, but no promotion because that is trying to be helpful in telling a person that he is blind when he does not realize it-or that they are crippled when they do not realize they're crippled--this would not do much good in the world. As one does this, one has harmlessness. One may not do much good in the world-that's beside the point; but one is harmless. [from Marsha.......Over the years, I have discovered that my answers for people are from my experience and circumstances and have nothing to do with others and their challenges. I never have all the information about their circumstances--even they don't. So it's my challenge to just listen!]

One is harmless by merely being awake, alert, and seeing--having the inner state revealed to "self"--of what the self is like-has changed the world a great deal.

Of course, the ideas of the world are "how things ought to be" and a Not-I is apt to jump up and say, "Everyone ought to have the advantage of the Teaching". That sets it into an "ideal". It is available to anyone if they ask; but if they don't ask, they do not realize they are in a turmoil--they will never ask. If they feel that something else is to blame and are convinced that something else is to blame, they will continue to blame and will not ask. It is available to everyone, but they must ask. They must knock on the door. They must seek the way. When they do, they will find it.

The best one can do is to, possibly, be an example of someone who isn't constantly in a state of turmoil--one seems to be peaceful as one goes about one's way. One might be an example, but none can be the missionary who tries to convince people that they have a problem when they are not aware they have one. Being harmless is to see, "I don't want to harm anyone." Report that to X and there will be no harm.

The next thing is to make a contribution to Life. The greatest contribution one can make, of course, is to be fully aware. A fully conscious person is harmless and causes no one any troubles, and the conscious person is not intentionally or otherwise second force to anyone--he may be unknowingly if the other has set up an ideal. He will make a contribution to peace, a contribution to pleasant moods, a contribution to seeing, a contribution to consciousness; and if the occasion presents itself, he will make a contribution to the Teaching. In other words, only when it is asked for in it's proper time, place and circumstance, could one share a light. And when one shares the light, one has made a contribution. One can make a contribution to troubled people by pointing out that it may not be quite so "troubled" at the moment or, at least, by making cooing sounds of one form or another. They feel all right about it. But you cannot teach a person who is not asking--and is not looking.

Now this is the beginning of AGAPE. It is a great spiritual experience, and there are still other spiritual experiences because there are many more levels of agape-of love-of consideration to be experienced. It is experiencing, not a practice. The only practice is self-observation--paying attention is practice-all other happens as an experiencing, as an outcome of self observation.

The next possible spiritual experience is that of FAITH. Faith on one level is the ability to make up one's mind. Now in this, one can experiment and see if one can make up one's mind; or do many things appear to be impossible and one can't make up one's mind. One cannot make up the mind about certain things? One says, "I would like it that way, BUT………….. And so one can't make up one's mind.

This gives one the great possibility of not criticizing "self" because one cannot make up one's mind, but finding that there are still powerful Not-I's-doubters--limitations that are still lurking about in one form or another--there is still dark within. Even though one has light enough to see many things, there are things still hidden in corners-things hidden under cabinets--things hidden under furniture, etc.

So let's look for the things that when you attempt to make up the mind, honestly, and you see that it cannot be, there is still a Not-I that gains power over I and says, "Yeah, you know that cannot be done." A person is ill and he makes up his mind that he is going to be well, but something says, "Well, after all, you can't be well because this is a hereditary disorder." "You can't be well because this is an incurable disorder."

Then there is still some lurking not "i" in there from the old decision that says, "believe and do as you are told by your authorities" Some authority said, "It's incurable. Or it said, "It can't get well." Or it said, "You can't do anything about it."

When one sees this, one begins to be able, then, to look and see where there are still bits of conditioning that I is still identified with--I is still agreeing with--I is still believing mammon's ideas. Most often the not "i" will say, "See, you can't even make up your mind yet--you don't have any faith." "You haven't seen anything." So then there is one of those little accusing Not "i"s that sits around and makes noises.

But experiencing these emotions is a barometer, a great asset in aiding self-observation to attempt to make up the mind. Do not accept the criticism because one can't make up the mind; but be thankful that one has discovered there is still a not "i" over in the corner somewhere that is having a very powerful effect. As one observes this, one can find them. Remember, the work says that we are to only see the not "i"s, be aware of them, to experience confession of them; and that X does all the work. It's not to criticize because you missed one the first time through or the second time through or that one has been added on lately. It is to be thankful each and every time we can throw that light of self observation on a dark area.

One excellent way of finding out is to attempt to make up your mind about something-anything that you want to whatever it may be. If you cannot make up your mind about it, you know there is a not "I" that is still powerful enough that it influences I (the observer), to believe that what "it" says is true. There is still one there, and we can throw that light of self-observation on it and bring it into the light--can reveal that dark area. Self observation can enable us to see what is bringing about that limitation in being--that tormentor--that limitation that keeps us in bondage.

Can you see the difference between being thankful that you have discovered not "I's rather than being chagrined that you have found one?-saying to self, "Oh my goodness, there is still another one." "I'll never get anywhere." You see, as long as there is "one" there, it can have an effect. We are not saying they can all be gone in a matter of weeks. We are saying that it is a continual action of serving X--to continually refer to being aware of the "self" and what's there. One excellent way is to find out if you can make up your mind about anything. Some things you will find you can, and other things, the not "i" will say, "Oh yes, but you can't about this. So there is still something to be thankful for.

The person who is seeing differently is thankful in all states of affairs because it is valuable. It has value to discover what is limiting, and to discover that there is still a limitation. It is not something to criticize.

Now, in self-improvement programs which is the work of the world, if one hasn't improved, then one criticizes self because one hasn't improved.

But we are not concerned with any self-improvement programs--we are not concerned with ideals-we are not concerned with blaming, we are not concerned with feeling guilt or self recrimination. We are concerned with revealing all that is dark and bringing everything to the light so there is light in every area within the "self'. We are concerned that all conditioning is gradually brought to the light. One sees all this conditioning which is confession. One sees that one can surrender the desire to go with it and to agree with it. One turns about from it. One begins to see differently. Then something one could not formerly make up one's mind about, one can.

And it is all in a matter of degrees; it is not an absolute in either direction.


You will find there are many things you cannot make up your mind about right now; but when this occurs, you have found some place to look--have you not? You have found something to be very thankful for-that there is still a cranny to throw the light on-the light of self observation by observing the "self."

As one discovers this, one finds that one can make up one's mind about a few more things.

Parable of the Five Talents

There is the parable of the man who gave one of his servants five talents. [from the dictionary…..a power of mind or body considered as given to a person for use and improvement; so called from the parable in Matt 25:14-30….Marsha] The servant took it and made five more. To another servant, the man gave two talents. That servant took those two talents and made two more. To another servant, the man gave only one talent; and he buried it in the earth so he wouldn't lose it. He was trying to be safe. He was cursed; and the others were given great rewards.

We are not talking about rewards because the Work is its own reward--to live in light is its own reward--to be obedient to one's nature and to perform as one's own state designates. One's nature calls to be aware. The not "I's",--the conditioning-(which is formed personalities)--rule, operate, and intimidate man. They are very cunning and very wise, but they can only operate in the dark.

The teaching shows us how to throw the light on them. The Teaching shows us what the light is--the light of attention to the "self"--the conditioned area. It is something not "I", so it can be observed and is not like having one's attention on "self" when one was conditioned and totally occupied within it. It is seeing something separate, something that does affect.

As one observes this, one finds that faith is an ever-increasing experience. Faith is an ever increasing attribute. One experiences more and more faith because one can make up one's mind about more and more things because one has observed more of the limiting not "I's"-the accusings, the threatenings, the one that says, "Of course you can't do that." Or "Of course that's impossible." As one observes these, one finds that one grows in faith, and that one grows in light because one throws more and more light on that inner state.

I can sometimes move into that inner being and be totally all of it; but we are concerned with seeing how much of the conditioning is still there. The Teaching says that one can attempt to make up one's mind; and if you find you cannot-that doubts arise--then that is not something to be upset about, but something to be very thankful for because one can throw the light of "self awareness" on that not "I"-that bit of conditioning that was formed-that limiting personality that threatens I and says, "Of course that can't be."

I no longer agrees with it, but throws the light on it. None of the conditioning or not "I's" can exist in light--they have to depend on the darkness. So the greatest gift is the ability to use that light-that light of attention on the "self" and the awareness.

As one sees it, one sees how all others (that one associates with) are functioning. One begins to have more and more of the sense of Agape--Love. One is in a new state in the kingdom of heaven here and now. As it goes on, its supposed to not end. If one continues to observe, the kingdom of heaven is without end. So one observes and one sees, and one grows in the kingdom of heaven. One grows in faith. One grows in the appreciation of grace and of how much grace one sees. One experiences confession. Yes, still whenever there is one not "I" operating, and it can be seen; one is experiencing confession anew, surrender anew, repentance anew--(or turning about-not feeling guilty, etc). One is really turning about in a different direction, a direction of being washed of that limitation. IT IS INDEED A GIFT!

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VERBATIM TRANSCRIPT OF LESSON 21
THE SCIENCE OF MAN ~ FROM THE ORIGINAL 48 TAPES

(Revelation, Agape, Faith, The Light)

This week we will continue discussing seeing differently.  As one begins to see different, one is seeing much that has heretofore been in the dark – all the things that made up the self.  One is beginning to see as one observes the self where most of one’s difficulties came from, where one set up a barrier by always wanting to have something ideal, “what ought to be”; and of course then all the difficulties of trying to gain that state of idealism or the ideal, which is an illusion and not what is. 

One might say this is “revelation”.  To reveal is to bring to light.  One might use the parallel of many objects in a very dark room.  One with no light would bump into things, would find no beauty, could not see what was there and wouldn’t understand it.  But if one were given a light, one could throw the light into the room, see the beautiful things, not bump into things, and one would have something revealed to one.  Now, in order to have the light and to have things revealed, one of course must have the light and use it.  If one had a light and didn’t use it, it would be of no… or had a lamp and didn’t use it… it would be of no value.

Now, the Light or the Lamp that one uses, of course, is the Teaching.  The Teaching points out that there is much in man that man is unaware of.  And it points out a means whereby he may be aware of it – the Light, self-observation.  It points out that the source of his difficulties are not to be blamed on something on the outside, but that arise from within the self. 

As the great Teacher said, “From within the heart of man arise lust, murders, guilts, fears,” – all the other things.  So from within this dark area called the self, self-observation is throwing a light on it and seeing all the mechanical behavior, all the conditioning, which one heretofore was totally unaware of, was totally identified with.  One sees now that it is not I, and it sees that all the limitation was from the idea of conditioning.  One can begin to see that all the things that one felt was possible – or maybe not even true at all – and the things such as having “what ought to be.”  And that one can see that many of the things one thought was impossible are very possible when the conditioning is no longer in the way. 

This is beginning to be a new person.  One is considered in certain areas we read that one is “little in the Kingdom of Heaven”.  One has a little bit of glimpse of everyone doing what they feel to be right, or proper, or justifiable.  One has a little glimpse of Agape or love.  But one is a new person, because that was not at all present in the self. 

And I is observing all this and having a Light, which is seeing the mechanicalness, the conditioning and all the many things that arise from that – the many Accounts Receivable.  It begins to see and have revealed to it what forgiveness is.  It begins to reveal what anxiety is.  It begins to be revealed to one where all one’s difficulties arise from the conflict of the many not-I’s – one group contending that one should stick up for one’s rights, complain to get one’s way, and to blame.  And another group says to please everybody, believe as you’re told and do as you’re told by your authorities, and to put on a different front. 

And that the conflict between these is the source of man’s agony and misery.  But he’s always blamed it on circumstances outside, on other people, on dis-ease, etcetera.  One begins to have revealed to one that the disorders of the body arise from the conflict within, of the many anxieties, of the preparing for fighting or running. 

One begins to have revealed to one that X always does the appropriate thing for the information it receives from I, whether I is asleep and identified with the conditioning or whether it is awake and observing the conditioning and observing all that’s outside.  This is revelation.  One begins to live in a Light, and see what’s going on and understand, understand other people and not be in the dark of blaming, resentment, anger, guilts, fears, etcetera.

As one begins to have Agape – love, understanding – the first person of course is understood is “I” and that there is nothing to be regretful about, nothing to feel ashamed about; that it is the usual state of man.  It is, indeed, something to be very delighted about – that one is beginning to see, to have the Light thrown on all the dark area of the within, of the inner man is being brought to Light.  The motives are being brought to Light.  All the conditioning is being brought to Light.  One understands that when one was totally identified with the self, with all the conditioning, that one did what seemed right, proper and justifiable.  That’s what was reported to X and X operated on it. 

Now one is seeing entirely different things as being right or proper and is also seeing that anything that has to be justified is, of course, invalid because only the not-I’s, the conditioning, justifies things.  I needs not justify anything.  It merely reports what is.  It is seeing what is.  It is seeing the tremendous Grace, the tremendous gift that every person has.  And it is seeing that most people are totally unaware of the gift.  It understands these people and has compassion for them.  This is the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven, Agape – the Kingdom of Love.

Now, there is certain expressions of course that occur, that one has a different attitude.  As we said, when a person sees differently, they have a different attitude.  The basic attitude, of course, of the conditioned person is to gain revenge or to have fear of what will people think and etcetera.  You’re quite well acquainted with them if you’re paying attention and have been paying attention.  Now then a different attitude, an attitude of CONSIDERATION for all man:  we consider and see their viewpoint and consider how that one could relate to that individual in their present state of affairs. 

One doesn’t need to straighten them out.  You can’t.  It has to be done from his own inner revelation, from having the Light.  One may could so appear that they would ask about it.  And then possibly one could give them some of the Teaching and allow them to use the Light also.  But the first thing is to be considerate of them in whatever state they are.  One will find that one doesn’t have to practice being considerate, because if you practice being considerate you’re merely being tolerant.  But if one truly sees that what everyone around one is doing is that they feel it is right, proper, and/or justifiable, and it’s operating by the only Light – or rather, absence of Light – they have, and it’s the only thing they can do and it’s “what I’ve done for years”, each of us; we’ve only lived by that. 

Then one would be considerate of this individual who is in a state blind.  Who could not be considerate of a blind person?  Being considerate is a new attitude and it results in a new way of relating to the individual, whoever it may be and wherever it may be.  Whether it’s in one’s own household, whether it’s a stranger, whether it is a snippy salesclerk or whatever it may be, that one is considerate.  Of what?  A blind person, a crippled person, an incomplete person – so, one would be as a little child.  So one is considerate.  If one reports consideration to X, X brings about the appropriate behavior for consideration.

The next attitude that one would have is to be entirely HARMLESS – not to be helpful, which is usually to harm people, but to be harmless.  It takes considerable consideration, considerable Awareness, considerable looking, and considerable paying attention in order to be harmless.  If one walked up and told one of these blind people that, “You are blind, meaning you are blind spiritually, you are blind to the self, you’re blind to what’s going on within you,” – you would be harmful to that individual because they couldn’t believe it and they’d already form a conclusion.  And maybe if the Light was offered them, they’ve already formed such a conclusion that they couldn’t use it.  And maybe if they’re let alone for a while, maybe they will ask for the Light someday.

You see everyone has to ask for the Teaching.  It is never promoted.  It is never pushed upon anyone.  It is lived and by an example, yes – but no promotion because that is trying to be “helpful” and telling a person that they’re blind when they don’t realize they’re blind or that they’re crippled when they don’t realize they’re crippled.  And as one does this, one has harmlessness.  One may not do much “good” in the world – that’s beside the point – but one is harmless.  And by merely being awake and alert and seeing and having the inner state revealed to self of what self is like, has changed the world a great deal.

Now, of course, the ideas of the world is that how things ought to be.  And of course a not-I is apt to jump up and say, “Well, everybody ought to have advantage of the Teaching”.  That sets it into an ideal.  It is available to anyone, if they ask.  But if they don’t ask, they don’t realize they are in a turmoil, they will never ask.  And if they feel that something else is to blame and as long as they’re totally convinced something else is to blame, they will continue to do it and will not ask.  It is available to everyone.  But they must ask.  They must knock on the door.  They must seek the way.  And when they do, they will find.  The best one could do is be possibly an example of someone who isn’t constantly in a state of turmoil, one that seems to be peaceful as one goes about one’s way.  One might be an example, but none can be the missionary that tries to convince people that they have a problem when they are not aware they have it.  Being harmless is to see I do not want to harm anyone.  Report that to X and it will not be harm.

The other one is, is to MAKE A CONTRIBUTION TO LIFE.  The greatest contribution one can make, of course, is to be fully aware.  A fully conscious person is harmless and causes no one any troubles, is not intentionally or otherwise Second Force to anyone.  They may be unknowingly if the person has set up an ideal but otherwise they will not be.  They will make a contribution in peace, a contribution to pleasant moods, a contribution to seeing, a contribution to consciousness.   And as the occasion presents itself, they will make a contribution to the Teaching – in other words, only when it’s asked for.  And in its proper time, place and circumstance, one could share a Light.  And when one shares the Light, one has made a contribution.  One can make a contribution to troubled people by pointing out that it’s maybe not quite so troubled at the moment.  Or by at least making cooing sounds of one form or another and they’ll feel all right about it.  But you cannot teach a person who is not asking and is not looking.

Now this is beginning to experience Agape.  It is a great spiritual experience and there is still another spiritual experience – maybe many, many more because there’s many, many more levels of Agape, love, consideration to be experienced. 

It  [Agape] is an experiencing, not a practice.  The only practice is self-observation.  Paying attention is the practice. 
All other happens as an experiencing, as an outcome of that.

The next possible spiritual experience one may experience is that of FAITH.  Faith on one level is the ability to make up one’s mind.  Now this, one can experiment with and see if one can make up one’s mind.  Or does many things appear to be impossible and one can’t make up its mind?  One cannot make up one’s mind about certain things because it says, “Well, I’d like it that way, but…” and so one can’t make up one’s mind.  This gives one the great possibility of not criticizing that one can’t make up the mind, but finding where there is still powerful not-I’s, doubters, limitations that are still lurking about under one form or another.  And still dark within.  Even though one has Light enough to see many things, there’s things still hidden in corners sometimes, or under cabinets, or under furniture or what-have-you. 

So let’s look for the those things that when you attempt to make up the mind honestly, and you see that it cannot be because there is still a not-I that gains power over I and says, “Yeah, you know that can’t be done.”  A person is ill and they make up their mind they’re going to be well but something says, “Well after all, you can’t be well because this is a hereditary disorder or it’s an incurable disorder.”  Then there is still some lurking point from the old decision that says, “Believe and do what you’re told by your authorities.”  And some authority said it’s incurable or it can’t get well or was hereditary and you can’t do anything about it.  But when one sees this, one begins to be able then to look and see where there is still bits of conditioning that still is somewhat identified with or agreed with and that “I” still believes these mammon ideas. 

But most often it will say, “See you can’t even make up your mind yet.  You don’t have any faith.  You haven’t seen anything!”  So there’s one of those little accusing not-I’s that sits around and makes noises.  But it is a barometer.  It is a great asset in aiding self-observation to attempt to make up the mind, and not to accept the criticism because one can’t, but be thankful that one has discovered there is still a not-I over in the corner somewheres that is having a very powerful effect. 

And as one observes this, one finds them.  Remember that the Work says that we’re to only see the not-I’s, be aware of them, experience confession of them, and that X does all the Work.  And is not to be criticized because you missed one the first time through or the second time through, or that one has been added on lately.  It is to be thankful each and every time we can throw that Light of self-observation on a dark area. 

[Experiment]  And one excellent way of finding out is to attempt to make up your mind about something, anything that you want to, whatever it may be.  And if you can’t make up your mind about it, you know there is a not-I that is still powerful enough that it influences I, the Observer, to believe that what it says is true. 

There is still one there and we can throw that Light of self-observation on it and bring it to Light, can reveal that dark area and can reveal what is bringing about that limitation in being – that tormentor, that limitation that keeps us in bondage.  Can you see the difference between being thankful that you’ve discovered one, rather than being chagrined that you have found,  “Oh, my goodness, there is still one!  I’ll never get anywheres!”  You see, as long as there’s one there, it can have an effect. 

And we’re not saying that they can all be gone in a matter of weeks.  We’re saying that it is a continual action of serving X, to continually refer to being aware of the self and what’s there.  And one excellent way to find out is to see if you can make up your mind about anything.  Some things you will find you can, and other things, it said, “Oh, yes, but you can’t about this!”  So there is still something to be thankful for.  You see, the person that is seeing different is thankful in all states of affairs because it is valuable.  It has value to discover what is limiting and to discover that there is still a limitation.  It is not something to criticize.

Now, in self-improvement programs, which is the work of the world, if one hasn’t improved then one is criticizing self because one hasn’t improved.  Isn’t that right?  So, we are not concerned with any self-improvement program.  We’re not concerned with ideals.  We’re not concerned with blaming.  We’re not concerned with feeling guilty or self-recrimination.  We are concerned in revealing all that is dark and bringing everything to the Light so that there is Light in every area within the self – that all conditioning is gradually brought to the Light. 

One sees it, which is Confession.  One sees that one surrenders the desire to go with it and to agree with that.  One turns about from it, one begins to see differently.  And then something one could formally not make up one’s mind about, one can.  And it’s all in a matter of degrees; it is not an absolute in either direction. You’ll find there’s many things you can’t make up your mind about right now.  But when you do, you have found some place to look, have you not?  And you’ve found something to be very thankful for, that there is still a cranny to throw the Light on, the Light of self-observation – I observing the self.  And as one discovers this, one finds one can make up one’s mind about a few more things. 

This is somewhat of the parable of the man who had five talents, gave one of his servants five talents and the servant took it and made five more.  Another one he gave two talents, and he took those two and made two more.  And another man, only gave him one talent and he went and buried it in the earth so he wouldn’t lose it.  He was trying to be safe.  And he was cursed and the others were given great rewards.  We’re not talking about rewards, because the Work is its own reward.  To live in Light has its own reward.  It doesn’t need any further one.  One is being obedient to one’s nature and is performing as one’s own state designates, one’s nature calls for – is to be aware.

The not-I’s, the conditioning, which is formed personalities, which rule and operate and intimidate man are very cunning and very wise.  But they can only operate in the dark.  The Teaching shows us how to throw the Light on them.  It shows us what the Light is – the Light of attention, the Light of attention to the self, the conditioned area.  It is something not I, so it can be observed.   It is not like having one’s attention on self when one was conditioned and totally occupied within it.  It is seeing something separate, something that does have effect, though. 

And as one observes this, one finds that Faith is an ever-increasing thing.  It is an ever-increasing attribute, an ever-increasing experience.  One experiences more and more Faith because one can make up one’s mind about more and more things because one has observed more of the limiting not-I’s, the accusings, the threatenings, the one that says, “Of course, you can’t do that, of course that’s impossible,” and etcetera.  But as one observes these, one finds that one grows in Faith and that one grows in Light because one throws more and more Light on that inner state. 

And I can sometime move into that inner being and be totally all of it, but we are concerned with seeing how much of it is still returned.  The Teaching says that one can attempt to make up one’s mind.  And if you find you cannot, that there is doubts arise, then that is not something to be upset about, but something to be very thankful for – to throw the Light of self-awareness on that idea, that not-I, that bit of conditioning that’s formed a limiting personality that threatens I and says, “Of course, that can’t be.”  And I no longer agrees with it, but throws the Light on it.  And none of the conditioning or the not-I’s can exist in Light.  They have to depend on the darkness.

So the greatest gift is to be able to use that Light, that Light of attention on the self and the Awareness.  And as one sees it, one sees how all others that one associates with are functioning and begins to have more and more of the sense of Agape, love.  It is in a new state in the Kingdom of Heaven – here and now.  And if it goes on and on, it is supposed to not end.  If one continues to observe, the Kingdom of Heaven is without end. 

So one observes and one sees and one grows in the Kingdom of Heaven.  One grows in Faith.  One grows in the appreciation of Grace and how much Grace one sees.  One experiences Confession, yes.  Still whenever there is one not-I operating and it can be seen, one has experienced Confession anew.  Surrender, Repentance – or turning about, not feeling guilty, etcetera, but really turning about in another direction – and of being washed from that limitation.  It is indeed a gift.