Exercises - How To Be Miserable and Sick Any Time
By Rhondell
The  following instructions are given that any person by 
    following  any one of them can and will be miserable and sick.
This  is true although one may be using the services of a wise
    and  skilled doctor.  By following any one of  these instructions (one does not need to use a combination of them), you can  also make your doctor miserable.
Please remember that just any one of these sets of instructions that appeals to you will do the trick.
1.
READ ONE OR MORE ARTICLES  ABOUT
    DISEASE (usually called  “health” articles)
    FREQUENTLY.
One  a week will do, however one a day is better.   Any dis-
    ease  will do, because at least one of the symptoms can be
    made  to fit you, and give reason for alarm.
Alarm  or FEAR produces glandular reaction to prepare the
    body  to fight or run; you neither fight nor run, but just fret.
These  glandular products are not used in your metabolism, 
    consequently  there must be symptoms of unusual cellular 
    activity to use these products.  These unusual cellular activities 
    are  symptoms and give further cause for alarm and fear.
This  is an excellent method and when used even haphazardly
    is  guaranteed to keep you miserable and chronically ill.
2.
Another method used by millions with unfailing results:
GO OVER ONESELF CAREFULLY AT  LEAST
    EVERY FEW DAYS LOOKING FOR  ANYTHING
    AND EVERYTHING THAT COULD BE  WRONG,
    JUST TO BE SURE TO CATCH IT  IN TIME.
Look  the skin over carefully, looking for areas of dryness or
    slight  discolorations.  Inspect the tongue  minutely.  Feel of all
    joints.  Look between the toes.  There will usually be at least
    one  thing that will seem to be in some way abnormal.  Then
    keep  a close watch on it, and feel of it several times a day.  Be-
    come  informed about such conditions.  Get the  low-down on it.
This  is guaranteed to keep one’s mind entirely on self,
    with  fear and anxiety producing misery and sickness.  
YOU WILL BE SURPRISED HOW EASY IT IS.
3.
Another good method that is  used by an army of individuals
    to keep themselves in  bondage, is to:
FIND FAULT WITH EVERYTHING  AND
    EVERYBODY.
Look  for the hidden motive in things.  One  reads where some-
    one  has given a million dollars for research for world peace.
    Be  sure to know why he did it, probably to keep from pay-
    ing  taxes on it, so the poor people have to support the govern-
    ment;  know that prices are too high without reason; just to
    make  an extra profit off people.  See people  crowding out in
    front,  not waiting their turn in line.  See the  trucks tearing up
    the  highways.  See how big business is  ruining the country.  
    See how it is  raining too much, or the sun is shining too 
    much.  The list is endless.  One doesn’t have to look for an-
    noyances.  They are everywhere and they are all aimed  di-
    rectly  against one.  Don’t ever fail to  recognize them for what
    they  are, think them over, and become annoyed by them.
    One  doesn’t have to try at all to get oneself stressed.  STRESS
    is  the best known method to stop the free flow of life in the
    body.  This is the start of misery, whether it is  expressed as
    disease,  unhappiness or lack.
4.
A method used which never  fails to produce stress and all
    that goes with it, is to  develop a habit of:
RUSHING,
Eat  in a rush; why take time to chew, when one can wash it 
    down  with coffee or coke?  Don’t take time to  order a meal,
    one  can eat a sandwich more quickly.  Don’t  ever be satisfied
    to  be doing the job which is at hand; be thinking of some-
    thing  else that needs to be done.  Don’t wait  for another per-
    son  to finish their sentence, finish it for them, you know
    what  he or she was going to say anyway.  Why  not show
    them?  Drive a car in a hurry; if every other driver  doesn’t 
    give  the right-of-way, then tell him a thing or two.   This 
    builds  up stress very rapidly.  Get and keep  that drive.  This is
    the  QUICKEST way to be miserable.
5.
A method which is being used  to maintain misery in every-
    day living by countless  thousands, is:
NOT TO BE INTERESTED IN ANYTHING,
An  excellent infallible way to develop this uninterested state
    of  being is to state and believe “All a person  GETS out of life
    is  a little to eat, a place to sleep, pay taxes and die.”  Just take
    care  of the first three of these.  If one is  invited to take part in
    or  do anything, just ask the question: “What is in it for me?”
    It  works.  You are soon not interested in  anything except,
    “What’s  in it for me?”  The answer is then  obvious.  Boredom,
    sickness,  lack, friendlessness and dried up old age.
6.
This method is so old we hesitate  to include it, but since we
    are giving only tried and  proven methods to produce and
    maintain misery and illness,  it must be given it’s rightful
    place.  This one is just good old-fashioned temper  or:
ANGER.
It  is easy to develop and hold something on which to pride
    yourself  (“I am hot-tempered”).  It gives  something with 
    which  to keep the mind busy (ways and means to get even).
    This  is a very potent one; not only will it wreck health, but
    also  business and social life as well.  Like  the other methods
    that  have been given, it is simple and easy to do.   Somebody
    has  sometimes done something you didn’t like.   Decide NOW
    that  you will not stand for it, decide to stick up for your
    rights.  Just dwell on it, and think up some good  nasty things
    to  say to him or her, or better still, about them.   Just keep it
    up  and look for new opportunities to stick up for your
    rights.  Then watch your health, happiness and  possessions
    take  wings and fly away.
7.
This method has been tried  by uncounted millions without a
    single failure, and will  work for everyone just as surely,
    This one is called:                                                                                                   
SELF-PITY.
    
    Simple,  just sit down, slump down, let the corners of the
    mouth  droop down, and begin to mull over all the times that
    you  have been mistreated;  how little  everyone thinks of you,
    how  much you have done for others and how little has been
    done  in return, so little in fact, that you may as well forget it;
    how  hard you have to work, and how little you have to 
    show  for it; how bad you feel and how little anyone does
    about  it and how much less they care.  A little  time spent at
    this  can put you in bed sick, or on the street broke, and all
    alone  and miserable. Want to try it?
8.
Here is a method proven  beyond doubt by a great number
    of volunteers from every walk of life, to  produce intense
    stress; consequently to be  sick and miserable.  This is to
SEE ONLY BAD IN THE WORLD,
Read  all sensational news stories and keep repeating, “The
    world  is going to the dogs.”  One murder among  the 160 mil-
    lion  of people in the United States proves it; three or four
    hold-ups  daily among 160 million people; rotten isn’t it?  Disc
    jockeys  accept money to play new recordings, how terrible
    can  it get?  Juvenile delinquency stories  about the New York
    east  side, five kids involved, kids are all rotten these days.
    Then  watch six or seven crime stories on TV.   Watch the
    criminals  get killed or caught in the gunplay.   Read the stock
    market  reports, see the impending financial crash and the
    coming  depression.  Be assured that you will be  real good and
    stressed,  as well  as settled in your mind that  there is only evil
    and  that the world is going to hell with it’s back broke, and
    since  you are bad off, why bother?
9.
This method has been used by  all mankind an has never
    failed.  Need more be said regarding it’s  effectiveness?  It is so
    easy that no instructions  are necessary.  Just this simple re-
    minder: just:
state your age, and subtract  it from whatever
    age you have decided is  OLD….
28  from 36, 36 from 44, 45 from 56, etc.  It  is really a frighten-
    ing  study of the illusion of time.  It is  easy to visualize your-
    self  as wrinkled, stooped, with knotty joints, a grembling
    wobble,  too late to take advantage of opportunities, and too
    old  to do anything about it.  This  frightening thought produces  
    STRESS and  glandular reaction to fright, hence you can
    very  soon be enjoying aches and pains, and the signs of age-
    ing.  This makes it even more easy to visualize the  whole hor-
    rible  picture, truly a working illusion of time.
10.
This method is so easy that  most people who use it don’t
    even know that they  are.  So you can see that it will be no
    effort on your part to use  this method to be miserable and
    sick.  Just sit slumped, stand on one foot at a  time, with the
    other one out of the way,  lean on something if at all possible,
    let your chin hang forward  and down, watch the floor or the
    ground; learn to do  gymnastics with your eyebrows up-down-
    and clamped together.  In other words,
JUST LET YOURSELF FALL APART.
You will feel weak, worn-out, discouraged and miserable.
